“Unf*ck Yourself” by Gary John Bishop is one of the best books I read this year! It is short, funny, straight to the point, and incredibly honest. So honest that you can’t help but feel offended sometimes.
But don’t worry, everything you are about to read in this book is true, based on the experience of Gary Bishop, who is one of the leading Personal Development experts in the industry. So without any further ado, let’s dive into the concepts of this book!
First of all, you need to understand that this book gives you advice on what you can do to change your life. It is not a guaranteed recipe for success, and the advice you are about to here may or may not offend you.
As you can see from the title, Gary Bishop doesn’t chat around and doesn’t beat around the corner. He is direct in his approach but the words he speaks have a lot of value and can add tons of value in your life, as he did to mine.
First thing first: you talk to yourself. this is no question about it. You may not use your actual voice, but you talk to yourself! Every day! You have 50,000 thoughts in a single day, and not all of these thoughts are about what you will do. Some of those… many of those, are about how you can’t do stuff, how you are too lazy to lose weight, too weak to quit smoking, or too unorganized to save some money.
This negative self-talk is not good for you, and it only makes you beat yourself up, become unmotivated to change something about your life, and regret afterward… Because you can’t get yourself motivated if the only thing that you tell yourself is how lazy you are to go to the gym.
This book offers you seven personal assertions that you can use to turn your life around and to unf*ck yourself, and get the life you always wanted!
Unf*ck yourself: I am willing!
I bet you have in your living area where you are not satisfied. Maybe you want to be in better shape, you want to quit a bad habit, you struggle financially.
You have some sort of problem, and maybe it is not your fault that you have this problem. But it is certainly your fault if you’re not going to do anything about it.
And I’m sure you tried to do, you struggled but you always ended up in the same place… and this is so frustrating. But take a minute and think about how many times did you had negative self-talk?
How many times did you say you were too lazy, or too stupid, or too weak or too busy to do something?
The thing is, maybe you are all of the above, and this is okay! Just because you are like this now, it doesn’t mean is who you are as a human being, or who you’ll be from now on! You have the power to change it. But are you willing to change it?
This assertion is the best one you could start with! It is the one that will shape your wantings and needs. It will make it easier for you if done correctly.
The truth is, you will not change if you tell yourself how lazy you are… But if you tell yourself that you are willing your brain will connect neurons differently, and you will slowly make yourself believe you can do it.
I am unwilling
Instead of saying “I’m too lazy to lose weight”, tell yourself “I am willing to lose weight”.
But what happens if when you say this, you have an “I am not feeling so willing” feeling? Change the assertion to “I’m am unwilling to live in an unhealthy body”. See how the opposite works for you.
Sometimes you are not willing to do something. But you are unwilling to live like this anymore!
” I am willing” not “I want”!
What am I about to say may upset you a little bit: You are not willing to do everything you want to do! This is a true statement, and that is why the assertion is “I am willing” instead of “I want”!
You may “want” to do things that you don’t want for numerous reasons: Because your family said so, because of the pressure from your friends, because this is the standard in society, etc.
Are you willing to be an engineer? Or does your mother want you to be one? Do you really want to cut all the sugar you eat? Or your friends told you that you can’t date girls because of a dad bud?
I will say it again! This assertion doesn’t ask you what you want to do! It asks you what you really are willing to do.
In conclusion, you can shape your life, and see where are the areas where you actually can make a change!
Ask yourself every day, and every night, when you drive, when you eat, when you shower: Am I willing? Or am I unwilling? This is the first step to Unf*ck yourself!
I am wired to win
Here is some good news for you!
You are wired to win!
Your brain is trying to find the solutions to make you win at everything in your life! What’s that? you’re not winning? Well, that’s because you play the wrong game…
Your brain will find answers to make you do the stuff you need to do. But your brain has a pattern that must be followed. So if you have a bad habit, your brain will think that you must do it, because you do it often, and causes you pleasure.
You want to make new friends, but you keep telling yourself that it is going to be hard, because you are socially awkward, don’t know how to initiate contact, and don’t know how to make new friends. Well, your brain will make you win at this game by not letting you do anything to make new friends or connections!
What is the solution?
Make a plan on how you will act! And do that plan even if you feel resistance. Your brain helps you make what he thinks is right, you, on the other hand, must show him that you want something else! If you do that long enough and you consciously act the way you want to act, your brain will get the memo and help you act that way.
Make a plan, follow it, and tell yourself you are wired to win, and you will unf*ck yourself!
Unf*ck Yourself: I got this
This chapter makes you realize two things:
You come a long way
2. You can go even further!
It explains why you shouldn’t be scared of future adversities. You must understand that you can withstand everything that life throws at you.
There is one trick you can use to be able to see it too. Imagine that you are in a car, there is a one-way street that you are driving. To your left is your past. All the things you did, you failed or succeed at, that made you feel pride or shame. Take your time to think about it.
Now at your right are the future bumps, the next ups, and downs. Now that you see what you’ve been through, you are more capable of understanding that you can go past future adversities. You have been strong in the past, so there is no reason for you to think that you will not be in the future.
So tell yourself you got this!
Unf*ck Yourself: I embrace the uncertainty
We, humans, as a race, lived in times where we needed to be very careful about a bunch of stuff. Like predators, poisonous snakes, spiders, and plants. So to keep us into a safe place, we don’t enjoy being pushed outside of our comfort zone.
The bad thing is… all the things you want are in the uncertainty. Everything you want to do, all the people you want to meet, all the experience you want to have, are on the other side of the gate.
But your biological systems just don’t like to be pushed that way, even though that means not getting what you want. We love the certainty because is comfortable, and warm, and cuddly. But is not what you need to do in order to grow.
It is impossible to guarantee certainty, but the uncertainty is guaranteed. And as Teddy Roosevelt said, “The right choice is your best option, the wrong choice is your second best option, and the worst option is to do nothing”.
Don’t think too much in these situations, go and do something, you will be wrong sometimes, you will fail sometimes, but that’s what you need to do to unf*ck yourself! I embrace the uncertainty.
Unf*ck Yourself: I am not my thoughts, I am what I do
This is the assertion that made me feel a little uncomfortable. But as it is unpleasant to hear, it is also true. You are not what you think; you are what you constantly do.
If you think you will go to the gym the next day, you are not going to the gym, you planning to go to the gym. One will bring you results, the other one will bring your motivation up, but then back down.
But this is not entirely bad. Remember when we said that you should not have negative thoughts about yourself? Well, if you are not what you think, then those thoughts are not that important.
I’m not saying that you should not do an effort to change the way you thinking. But I do say that you should act opposite of what you negatively think.
If you say you are lazy, and the project you work on is too big for you. Then get to work and try to create a proactive plan in order to finish the project on time. This takes discipline too, I agree. If you don’t know how to be disciplined, we have an article about it right here.
But with that being said, act on the stuff you want, and finish the project you want to finish. You are not what you think, you are what you do, so go and unf*ck yourself.
Unf*ck Yourself: I am relentless
You know, sometimes people will be against you, and try to bring you down. On other occasions maybe even you will try to bring you down. But if you are really willing to change something about life, and you are so determined to do that, then you must be relentless.
Being relentless is doing what it needs to be done, without having a second thought. Is doing what you should do even though you don’t think you can actually pull it through.
You just work and hustle all the way. And while you do it, you are focusing only on the task at hand!
Don’t try to visualize what your next move will be. Don’t visualize what you’re next plan is going to be. focus on what you are doing, pour all the effort into that, and I guarantee you, you will do it!
Be relentless, and unf*ck yourself!
Unf*ck Yourself: I expect nothing, and accept everything
Always save the best for last.
To tell you the truth, this assertion is my favorite, because it does not only makes a lot of sense, but is so liberating, and easy to do too. Basically, Gary Bishop says that you should not have any expectations. You shouldn’t dream with your eyes wide open, because the truth is, it will never happen the way you imagine. And as a result, you will be sad about it!
Now, that does not mean you shouldn’t make plans, or have some vision of your own. But don’t marry them. Do a plan, execute it, and change it along the way, accept that is not how you imagined, and you need to change it in order to succeed.
We are obsessed with expectations
We like to do it! It makes us comfortable. It is easier to guess than to experience it ourselves. But this is the worst thing you can do.
The thing is, you do it all the time. You expect your significant other to act a certain way. Maybe you had a bad day at work, and you expect them to bright up your day. But they had to a bad day at work, so they are not in the mood to cheer you up.
Or you expect your family to buy you something meaningful for your birthday, but they had so many on their head that they just but you something you can use around the house, so you’re happy, but kind of disappointed.
Accept it as it is
But what if you never expect anything anymore. You just wait to see what happens and then control your reaction based on the live experience? To be honest, chances are you will not be disappointed. Why? You can’t compare what you experience with what you created in your mind. You never created anything in the first place. And instead of being sad about it, you will have your full attention on the matter. Therefore, you will be more productive.
And now picture the last scenario from this point of view. You don’t expect anything special for your birthday, but your family gives you something you can use around the house. So it is a plus every way you want to look at it.
As far as I’m concerned, this mentality of expecting nothing, accept anything, is a certain way of living a happy life. So accept everything the life throws at you and unf*ck yourself!
We live in a world where distractions are everywhere. As a result, you end up having a short attention span that we should, which affects our work, life and even relationships. We acknowledge the importance of staying focused on our life. So, in this article, we will talk about how to focus more on important tasks.
We have the attention span of 6 seconds. It’s the same length as for a goldfish… Chances are you already been distracted until you reached this part of the article.
So why is this happening?
As I said before, we live in a world where distractions are all among us. Television, loud noises, kids playing, phone notifications, emails, or even our own mind can make us lose concentration and cause us hours of work weekly.
Even though this is a severe problem, it doesn’t mean that we can’t do something about it. Even more, we can do some simple practices to train our focus to last longer. So here are our tips on how to focus more:
[Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post may include affiliate links. This means that I get a commission if you purchase the product through my link at no extra cost to you.]
You want to stay focused for more time and we bring this meditation into discussion… So what about it? Meditation is a mindfulness practice. This means it will train your brain to be engaged with the present ignoring any distracting thought you may have at some point in your work time.
I usually meditate first thing in the morning for 10 minutes. I focus only on my breath, and every time I catch myself daydreaming, I pull myself back to where I was. This way, I’m training my mind to be more aware of this slippery thoughts and to push me back into work when I need it!
But be aware of the fact that you will not become a focus master after one session. The focus span will build with time, and your quality of work will slowly but steadily increase.
Pomodoro technique is one of the best productivity tools you have at your disposal. It’s easy to use, and the results are, at least in my case, visible from the first session.
So what is the Pomodoro technique? Well, simply put, it is working for a 25 minute period, and then taking a break for another 5. You will keep doing this process as long as you need to. But I recommend 4 times. This way you will have 2 hours work-sessions.
How does it work? It is really simple. You are not productive from the get-go, you increase in productivity until you hit a peak, and from that point, your productivity decreases. The peak is at 15 minutes. After that you start to lose it, you will lose concentration, focus, and even interest.
The 5-minute break is to reset your brain. After those 5 minutes, you can start over and have another productive session where you will stay focused longer, helping you finish tasks quicker and better.
What should this suppose to mean? I know it sounds silly, but let me explain. Your brain likes the routine and uses some external factors to figure out what will happen next.
For example: If you’re hungry and you smell food, your mouth will secrete saliva because is preparing for eating. Or, this is why specialist advises you to use your bed only for sleeping. Because where you go to bed, your brain knows it’s time to sleep.
So what is that playlist about though?
You need to find a playlist that you listen only to where you work. In time, your brain will get used to listening to that playlist only when you are working. As a result, you will stay focused more on the task at hand.
The most important piece of advice about this tip is: you shouldn’t listen to that playlist anywhere else or while doing anything else but work. It will lose effectiveness and you will have to find another one.
Another important advice for this tip is to use a playlist with instrumental music only. The part of the brain responsible for thinking is also responsible for the understanding of human speech. So if a person is singing, your brain will focus on that, making you lose focus!
Turn off your notification
I’m saying your notification and not wi-fi because you may need your phone at work. In high school years, I had a lot of housework on my phone because we couldn’t buy that specific exercise book because it was old.
Therefore, we took a picture of the pages, and we look at that picture to read the question. And I wasn’t always turning off the notification. Therefore, I would lose time answering messages or surfing the Internet.
If you don’t need your phone to work, then I would advise you to not use it at all. Turn off the internet, put it aside, and finish your work before touching it again!
Create a workspace
Your workspace is your sacred place where you will do all your work. The way this function is the exact same way as with the playlist. You have a space that you use for work and work only.
This way your brain will know that it is time for you to get some job done, so it will concentrate more, making you stay focused and more productive.
Chunks are defined as small goals you must achieve in your journey of completing a bigger one.
Let’s say you need to write a five-page essay, and it is due next week. Well, you can start researching in day one, make a draft on day two, and then write a page every day, or take a break after you write a page.
Anyway, your goals should be to create chunks small enough for you to complete, but big enough to be a challenge. If it is too hard to do it, you will stress too much and quit. If it is too easy, you will get bored… and quit.
Chunks must have a deadline, and it must be measurable in some way. If done correctly they will boost your focus, because you will work on a very specific topic, and your brain will go into a single direction!
This is it, guys! These are our tips on helping you expand your focus span and your productivity.
Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it will take time. Also, you don’t have to do all of them at once. I would recommend meditating first. If you don’t know-how, we have an article right here. From there you can implement the tips you found the most useful or the ones you liked the most.
Let us know in the comments if any of them helped you, or if you have even more cool tips on how to improve your attention span, and to stay focused for longer!
Do you ever wonder if there is any way in which you can get glowing skin overnight? Well, I’m here to tell you that this is not entirely true.
I am not going to tell you that you can achieve your dream skin in a matter of hours but I’m going to be honest with you, and try to give you some helpful tips and secrets in order to gradually achieve precisely what you wish for: that glowing healthy skin we all dream about.
First, you have to commit to giving your skin the best treatment it deserves. That doesn’t mean you have to put layers upon layers of products on your skin.
Natural glowing skin is obtained by making sure you properly take care of your skin by implementing a simple routine in your day-to-day life. That means you have to stay consistent in order to see results.
So let’s get started!
[Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post may include affiliate links. This means that I get a commission if you purchase the product through my link at no extra cost to you.]
Follow a skincare routine
Every type of skin requires a different skincare routine depending on the needs. While dry skin requires moisturizer, oily skin will definitely require hydration, which can be produced with the use of hyaluronic acid.
Even though the skincare routine differs depending on the type of skin, there are some basic steps that anyone should have in their skincare routine.
I bet you heard about the saying “You are what you eat”. This is actually very true. Not only does apply to your overall health in general, but it applies to skincare as well.
Your skin benefits from the same nutrients as any other organ in your body. Fruit and vegetables contain antioxidants. These antioxidants have the role of protecting the skin from free radicals like pollution, for example.
Also, don’t be afraid of consuming some healthy fat.
What do I mean by that?
Well, omega-3 and omega-6 are fatty acids found in fish, walnuts, chia seeds, etc. These acids protect your skin from sun damage and they reduce premature aging and the risk of acne, among other benefits, of course.
Also, try eating some zinc-rich foods, like fish, wholegrain, nuts, seeds, etc. Zinc is basically a mineral responsible for producing oil, leaving your skin soft and glowing.
Of course, there are many other nutrients and many other examples of foods that are good for your health and skin, but I wanted to also mention the importance of drinking water!
Your body contains 75% water. If you don’t properly hydrate your body, your skin will suffer as well and it will become dry and prone to premature aging.
Our bodies lose water every single day so make sure to hydrate enough in order to maintain a balance for your hydration levels.
Be careful when choosing your products
It is really important to be careful when choosing the products for your skincare. Start by determining your skin type and then choose the proper products that contain the best ingredients that suit your skin type.
For example, if your pores are small you most certainly have dry skin. In contrast, if your pores are large then you most likely have oily skin.
Also, keep in mind the ingredients listed on the package and ask a dermatologist if you are unsure of your choice or if you are allergic to certain ingredients that are listed on the label.
Exercising might be one of the most important pieces of advice out there! It has been shown that it reduces stress levels, it reduces the risk of heart disease, it strengthens your bones and muscles and many other.
Among all of the benefits that exercising provides, skin health is one of them. Exercising nurtures skin cells and keeps them vital by increasing the blood flow.
Avoid touching the face with your hands
There is no news in the fact that your hands become a magnet to many germs and bacteria so when you are touching your face, you are actually transferring everything onto your skin.
That makes your skin prone to acne and it won’t help you achieve that glowing skin that you wished for.
Try washing your hands or using a hand sanitizer every time before you have to touch your face. This is a basic but a golden rule in order to keep your face clean and glowing.
What else can you do for achieving beautiful, clean and glowing skin?
Use Vitamin C
Collagen has as the main ingredient vitamin C. Collagen is known for being the key to healthy, young and glowing skin because it improves the elasticity of the skin.
This protein is found in bones, organs, blood, muscles and also in the dermis, being responsible for tightness and preventing wrinkles on the skin.
Try natural remedies
There are many natural remedies for glowing skin, like honey, milk, lemon, and turmeric. These ingredients, in various combinations, are very beneficial for your skincare, reducing melanin production.
Raw milk is rich in B-vitamin and other antioxidants that will keep the skin moisturized during the day.
Honey is a great antibacterial ingredient and is an amazing source of antioxidants that will prevent premature aging and it will unclog your pores.
Lemon juice is rich in vitamin C which we talked about earlier and its acidity works as an amazing exfoliator.
These three together can also work as a great mask by mixing one tablespoon of each ingredient and leaving it for 15 minutes.
So this is it, folks! I hope you enjoyed our article about glowing skin!
We all have different goals. We want to achieve them. Losing weight, becoming active, getting a promotion, starting a blog, writing a book, you name it. But even though you are so fired up to achieve it, you make one mistake that stops you to achieve your goal!
I’ve been there myself. Making a commitment to a certain goal, making a plan, sticking to it and telling everyone about it. Unfortunately, I failed it again and again. And trust me when I tell you I know the frustration!
You know you do everything right, but somewhere along the way something happens and makes you lose motivation. It makes you stumble and stops you from doing the thing you committed to doing.
I like to believe you already know when it comes to this type of thing you are 100% responsible for your results. Therefore, you are responsible for doing this mistake that is killing your results and stops you from achieving your goal.
Talking about your goals is the biggest mistake!
The number one mistake you make, when you are doing everything right, is telling people about your goals.
Surprising stuff, isn’t it? I was confused as well when I first heard it. But hear me out, everything will make sense!
Think of it this way. When you tell someone about your target of running a marathon, they would be happy for you and would congratulate you for having this incredible goal.
The thing is, your brain doesn’t know the difference between being congratulated because you made a statement and being congratulated for actually doing what you said you were doing. And in result, you will live a feeling of accomplishment. And THAT is the problem!
Your brain tricks you in making you believe you already walked the walk when you barely talk the talked. As a result, you lose motivation. You will not have the motivation to do something you already did, right?
The theory had been tested!
Peter Gollwitzer ran a test on 163 people who were separated into two groups. Both of them wrote their goals down, but one group actually said their goal to the others, and the other group was asked to remain silent.
Both of the groups were offered 45 minutes and resources to go and try to achieve their goals. The only catch is that they could quit any time they wanted.
The people in the first group who only wrote their goal down worked for the whole 45-minute period without stopping. And in the end, they admitted they still had a long way to go!
But the group with the people who told the others what their goal was, worked for approximately 33 minutes, and believed they made incredible progress even though they weren’t!
This result suggests that when you tell others your target, you are less likely to do the work, and on top of that, you will believe you are progressing when you’re not! And this is why most of us fail.
How do you protect yourself from that?
So now you know that this may be THE mistakes that stop you from writing that book or having that summer body you always wanted. Don’t let your brain trick you, and blocks you to achieve your goal!
But what happens if someone asks you about your goals and you tell them? Well, the same exact thing. You should never reveal your goals. And if you’re asked, I’m afraid the only thing you can do is to give a vague answer or beat around the question!
Keep the goals to yourself; you don’t have to reveal to the world, not even to those who are closest to you! Write them down, do a plan, execute it, and clap for yourself because you deserve it!
The quote “Work in silence, let your success do the noise” is as true as it can be, and you should take advantage of that!
Let us know if this trick helped you and tell us even more tricks like this who can help us and the others!